This is a trope the needs to go away. Not only does it inject major logic flaws into the story, but it is also, like, way uncool to do that to someone. First things first, what the heck is “GASLIGHTING?” The term comes from the play Gas Light (and 1940/1944 film adaptations that you should totally watch) in which the main character uses systematic psychological manipulation to convince his wife that she is insane – for example, insisting that his wife is imagining things when she (correctly) notes the change in brightness of their home’s gas lamps. You’re probably thinking that is some pretty clear-cut psychological abuse that would totally be the M.O. of the villains in our beloved superhero shows. Nope. This is actually a thing our supposed heroes do (almost pathologically) to those they “love.”
Let’s take the biggest superhero shows on TV: ARROW, THE FLASH, and iZOMBIE. You’ll notice they all come from The CW, so keep in mind that the audience for that network skews younger and might not have enough experience with relationships to be able to understand why this is such a problem.
From vigilante Oliver Queen to walking (or running) science experiment Barry Allen to zombie Liv Moore, superheroes understandably are not going to be broadcasting their identity to the public at large. Makes sense. No one wants to wear their good underwear every single day lest today’s the day they get arrested (or, ya know, shot on sight) while going about their mundane daily business. The problem isn’t that these superheroes are keeping their identities secret from the world, it’s that it makes no sense for them to keep this information from the people they love (and who love them). It makes especially little sense when those loved ones are actively trying to figure out the truth behind the superheroes and weird crime patterns that have been showing up lately.
Many heroes assert that they must keep their loved ones out of the loop in order to protect them, but time and again this has been proven to be a completely illogical line of reasoning. It is 100% ineffective. How many times in these shows (and comic books and movies and everything) have villains gone after the hero’s family or paramour in order to hurt the hero/draw the hero out/just generally be a jerk?
Thea Queen was targeted by Slade. Moira Queen was killed by Slade. Did not knowing about Oliver protect either of them? For those playing along at home, the answer is a definitive NO. When Thea learned Malcolm Merlyn was a pretty evil ninja dude, she didn’t crucify her father; she asked him to train her in order to protect herself. If Oliver had revealed his identity to Thea earlier, maybe she would have sought his help instead of aligning with the Bad Guy™ that went on to use her in order to enact his own complicated plan to oust Ra’s al Ghul and take over the League of Assassins.
Then there’s poor Iris West, to whom Barry refused to reveal his secret identity regardless of the numerous baddies that went after her because she ran that silly blog about The Red Streak. She would put herself in dangerous situations in order to get scoop on the meta-humans and to figure out who was behind the mask. She also kept posting public messages about where The Flash should meet her, which really was basically a beacon for any aspiring villain to capture a person with an obvious connection to The Flash and/or set a trap for The Flash himself. Rather than tell Iris so she stops putting herself in unnecessary danger and stops giving any baddie with an internet connection easy access to info about The Flash’s whereabouts, Barry, Joe West, and everyone else did everything in their power to misdirect her, including covering up the murder of her mentor. She never truly realized how much danger she was actually in.
Perhaps the most egregious gaslighting was that of Major Lilywhite on iZOMBIE. Major is a great human being who is rarely judgmental. He naturally noticed and became concerned about the disappearances of the “at risk youth” with whom he worked. He put together the zombie part and tried to seek help from those he trusted, including Liv. Unfortunately, those he trusted were so blindly obsessed with keeping their own secret that they made him question his theories until he literally believed he was going crazy and checked himself into a mental hospital. Without the support of those he thought he could rely on, Major chose to go after the zombie problem by himself, and SHOCKER it put him in a super dangerous situation.
Keeping the hero’s loved ones in the dark doesn’t protect them. It does precisely the opposite.
It also sidelines those characters. When they are not let into the inner circle, they rarely can actively participate in the inner circle’s storylines. Instead, they usually are relegated to B-plots or serve only as obstacles for the heroes to work around. Given that often the loved one kept in the dark is one half of the OTP, this also means that audiences will not connect with that intended romance. When the characters barely interact and the hero is often lying to their love interest, how can they build chemistry? There’s a reason far more fans ship Oliver/Felicity than Oliver/Laurel. And when the love interest is little more than an annoyance, why should we root for her/him to get together with the hero? Laurel 2.0, aka Iris, flitted around the edges of the story while publishing her ridiculous and poorly designed blog, but she didn’t actively contribute to the plot until the last few episodes ... coincidentally around the time she finally learned that Barry was the hero she was so obsessively pursuing.
All of these love interests are shown to be smart because they have picked up on the weirdness happening around them. Major actually figured out that zombies exist, which is honestly impressive given all the roadblocks put up by Liv, Ravi, and a basic understanding of reality pre-Max Rager. (Don’t you think Max should be spelled Maxx? That seems like something a company like that would do.) Yet for some irrational reason, these heroes think that trusting their loved ones and validating their loved ones’ theories will somehow put everyone in greater danger. It makes no sense. It is patently false. It hampers the characters, the intended romance, and the overall plot. It needs to stop.
