Project #7: Fuzzy Scarf

I got this gorgeous yarn (Patons Bohemian in Indigo Indulgence) as a gift, but I didn't know what to do with it at first. I mostly work with DK or worsted weight, so this fuzzy bulky yarn was a bit out of my wheelhouse. I tested a section with some simple crochet patterns, but I felt that it ended up too thick no matter what stitch I used. That meant I would have to knit with the yarn to make it a wearable thickness. But, see, I've only ever knitted one thing ever, so I was more than a bit daunted.

I really didn't need to be. Turns out, bulky yarns are great for knitting because it takes far fewer stitches to get a lot of length. Hell, I finished this entire scarf in less than a day, and I am not a quick knitter. Plus, this super fuzzy yarn is very forgiving. Because the stitches are barely visible - I did a standard knit, so one side is smooth knit and the other nubby purl, but unless you look closely or touch the scarf, most wouldn't be able to tell - the mistakes and uneven stitching is also barely visible. I can hardly find the areas where I wove in the ends, and I was the one that made the damn thing. So consider me converted to bulky yarns. They aren't exactly viable for making sweaters, but for scarves, hats, and maybe blankets (if I really want to knit that much... which I doubt I ever will), they're great.

Project #6: New Baby Blanket DONE!

After a few unfortunate missteps with matching the yarn (8 out of 10 of the Prince Pebbles matched the Soft Fern perfectly, and I of course managed to start with one of the two that didn't) I ended up making not one but two versions of the blanket. After realizing how different the yarns were, I couldn't bring myself to give such an imperfect blanket to my cousin, so I started a new one. My coworker liked the half blanket so much that she asked to buy it instead of letting it go to waste, so I finished it up for her and now both blankets have good homes.

The pattern is more or less the same as this, but I adjusted the number of squares per row and the size of each square/row. I also used back post double crochet for the ribbing instead of front posts because the BPDC leave the reverse looking more similar to the single crochet.

An Open Letter to Aspiring Writers

Dear Writers,

If your planning to submit a scirpt for consideration, please think of the industry reader's sitting at there desks wandering what they did too deserve the castigation of halving to decode you're typos.

Please remember how frustrating it was to read that sentence. Please run spellcheck, but don't blindly trust it. Please learn the difference between your and you're (and all the other homophone sets). Please stop making plurals into possessives. Please don't use a thesaurus to find replacement words that you can't actually define. And please, for the love of all that is holy, understand that pass, past, and passed are not interchangeable regardless of how you (incorrectly) pronounce them when you speak.

No one will hire you as a writer if you can't do some basic proofreading.

All best,
Every Assistant Ever

Project #6: New Baby Blanket!

I'm super excited to be making another baby blanket for my cousin! I spent about an hour wandering the aisles of Joann Fabrics trying to decide on the yarn before finally settling on this gorgeous Bernat Softee Baby ombre called "Prince Pebbles" that I'll pair with the coordinating grey ("Flannel") and possibly the coordinating green ("Soft Fern") and teal ("Aqua") if I can find them at any of my local stores.

The Pain of Watching a Show You Love Die, pt2

I’ve addressed the short-lived series ripped from your TV too soon, but what about the ones that go on forever, far past any interest you once held in them?

All shows have their ups and downs. Even the often flawless THE GOOD WIFE had that storyline with Kalinda’s husband, and the damn near perfect FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS strayed into weird during season two. (plus it had Julie Taylor - I mean, the girl got mad at a baby) At the end of the day, despite a few missteps, both of those series continued to be pretty awesome throughout their runs.* That is not always the case.

I rarely quit shows even when they become nearly unwatchable because, like many SFF fans, I’m a completionist. I get very invested in the characters and the world, and I’m often unwilling to give up hope that the series will manage to right the ship.

SLEEPY HOLLOW had a creatively exciting first season, but it became loaded down with a larger episode order, unnecessary love stories, convoluted plotting, and an unexpectedly dour Orlando Jones. They’ve since gutted the cast and pledged to return to the first season’s tighter pacing and Ichabbie-focused stories. With the casting of a love interest for Ichabod and a crossover with BONES (whaaaa?), I’m not totally convinced that this once promising series will be able to rebuild what it lost last season – both in audience and quality – but I will still give SH one more chance.

Sometimes you fall for shows that you know will never be great, but you stick with them anyway. Despite numerous dropped storylines and too many magic baby plotlines (FYI 1 is usually too many), I still believe that GRIMM can be as fun as season 1, even though season 1 had just as many issues. My roommate, however, has deleted it from the DVR and is threatening to call psychological services if I continue to lie to myself about its potential to actually stick with a coherent season-long arc.

Then there are the rest of the shows on our apartment’s chopping block. We’ve been frustrated with the most recent season(s) of SUITS and have let it build up a long backlog in our DVR. This show started out so strong – a smart, witty law series that had complex female characters and ultra-charismatic leads. Yet in recent years, Jessica, Donna, and Rachel have been making choices that are completely out of character and, frankly, not smart. Jessica, the head of the firm, whose name has been on the wall for the entire run of the series, keeps getting battered by people interested in hurting her in order to get to Harvey, and she consequently makes reactionary decisions that tend to be born out of emotions rather than logic. It seems highly unlikely that this powerful career-driven woman got to her current position in the firm by making decisions in this way, and it seems even more unlikely that she would start now. Gina Torres’ incomparable acting skills and commanding presence are not enough to hide the cracks in the writing. And I’m still not ready to talk about what they’ve done to Ms. Gal Friday, Donna. I feel personally victimized by how the writers have treated her character. But beyond the rapid decline in the consistency and development for the characters (female and male alike), the show is leaning hard into its annoying movie quoting and overly petty internal politics that have never been why I watched the show.

There’s a certain point when a series is no longer enjoyable to watch and instead becomes a chore.

Usually, that point comes when the show no longer resembles what it started as – when the character development doesn’t align with the characters’ established backstories; when the storylines become so convoluted that you need to take notes while watching; when the least enjoyable elements (be they characters, plotlines, or an excessive reliance on spectacle) are thrust front and center. That’s when we start to wonder who is still watching.

There is something to be said for shows that go out on a high note. Many would have loved to see BREAKING BAD continue, but its 5 season run (by choice) and shorter episode orders (yay cable!) allowed the writers to craft a consistently engaging story that never had to struggle through filler or try in vain to top itself with ever twistier storylines. (yo ‘sup SCANDAL)

TV series are money-making ventures, and the studios, networks, and producers will keep them going as long as they bring in the cash. Aiming for syndication numbers can be a powerful motivator, and an inability to launch a successful replacement series can sometimes mean the old guard shows stick around until they are barely shells of what they once were. Though it is nice to see these crews (and actors, and writers, and producers) employed, it is a disservice to the story and to the audience to ask us to pretend the show hasn’t lost its spark.

That being said, SUPERNATURAL will run forever. And I’m OK with that.

*Fear not, TGW fans, THE GOOD WIFE is not over yet. It will return for a 7th (and likely final) season this fall.

Let's Talk About Gaslighting in Superhero Shows

This is a trope the needs to go away. Not only does it inject major logic flaws into the story, but it is also, like, way uncool to do that to someone. First things first, what the heck is “GASLIGHTING?” The term comes from the play Gas Light (and 1940/1944 film adaptations that you should totally watch) in which the main character uses systematic psychological manipulation to convince his wife that she is insane – for example, insisting that his wife is imagining things when she (correctly) notes the change in brightness of their home’s gas lamps. You’re probably thinking that is some pretty clear-cut psychological abuse that would totally be the M.O. of the villains in our beloved superhero shows. Nope. This is actually a thing our supposed heroes do (almost pathologically) to those they “love.”

Let’s take the biggest superhero shows on TV: ARROW, THE FLASH, and iZOMBIE. You’ll notice they all come from The CW, so keep in mind that the audience for that network skews younger and might not have enough experience with relationships to be able to understand why this is such a problem.

From vigilante Oliver Queen to walking (or running) science experiment Barry Allen to zombie Liv Moore, superheroes understandably are not going to be broadcasting their identity to the public at large. Makes sense. No one wants to wear their good underwear every single day lest today’s the day they get arrested (or, ya know, shot on sight) while going about their mundane daily business. The problem isn’t that these superheroes are keeping their identities secret from the world, it’s that it makes no sense for them to keep this information from the people they love (and who love them). It makes especially little sense when those loved ones are actively trying to figure out the truth behind the superheroes and weird crime patterns that have been showing up lately.

Many heroes assert that they must keep their loved ones out of the loop in order to protect them, but time and again this has been proven to be a completely illogical line of reasoning. It is 100% ineffective. How many times in these shows (and comic books and movies and everything) have villains gone after the hero’s family or paramour in order to hurt the hero/draw the hero out/just generally be a jerk?

Thea Queen was targeted by Slade. Moira Queen was killed by Slade. Did not knowing about Oliver protect either of them? For those playing along at home, the answer is a definitive NO. When Thea learned Malcolm Merlyn was a pretty evil ninja dude, she didn’t crucify her father; she asked him to train her in order to protect herself. If Oliver had revealed his identity to Thea earlier, maybe she would have sought his help instead of aligning with the Bad Guy™ that went on to use her in order to enact his own complicated plan to oust Ra’s al Ghul and take over the League of Assassins.

Then there’s poor Iris West, to whom Barry refused to reveal his secret identity regardless of the numerous baddies that went after her because she ran that silly blog about The Red Streak. She would put herself in dangerous situations in order to get scoop on the meta-humans and to figure out who was behind the mask. She also kept posting public messages about where The Flash should meet her, which really was basically a beacon for any aspiring villain to capture a person with an obvious connection to The Flash and/or set a trap for The Flash himself. Rather than tell Iris so she stops putting herself in unnecessary danger and stops giving any baddie with an internet connection easy access to info about The Flash’s whereabouts, Barry, Joe West, and everyone else did everything in their power to misdirect her, including covering up the murder of her mentor. She never truly realized how much danger she was actually in.

Perhaps the most egregious gaslighting was that of Major Lilywhite on iZOMBIE. Major is a great human being who is rarely judgmental. He naturally noticed and became concerned about the disappearances of the “at risk youth” with whom he worked. He put together the zombie part and tried to seek help from those he trusted, including Liv. Unfortunately, those he trusted were so blindly obsessed with keeping their own secret that they made him question his theories until he literally believed he was going crazy and checked himself into a mental hospital. Without the support of those he thought he could rely on, Major chose to go after the zombie problem by himself, and SHOCKER it put him in a super dangerous situation.

Keeping the hero’s loved ones in the dark doesn’t protect them. It does precisely the opposite.

It also sidelines those characters. When they are not let into the inner circle, they rarely can actively participate in the inner circle’s storylines. Instead, they usually are relegated to B-plots or serve only as obstacles for the heroes to work around. Given that often the loved one kept in the dark is one half of the OTP, this also means that audiences will not connect with that intended romance. When the characters barely interact and the hero is often lying to their love interest, how can they build chemistry? There’s a reason far more fans ship Oliver/Felicity than Oliver/Laurel. And when the love interest is little more than an annoyance, why should we root for her/him to get together with the hero? Laurel 2.0, aka Iris, flitted around the edges of the story while publishing her ridiculous and poorly designed blog, but she didn’t actively contribute to the plot until the last few episodes ... coincidentally around the time she finally learned that Barry was the hero she was so obsessively pursuing.

All of these love interests are shown to be smart because they have picked up on the weirdness happening around them. Major actually figured out that zombies exist, which is honestly impressive given all the roadblocks put up by Liv, Ravi, and a basic understanding of reality pre-Max Rager. (Don’t you think Max should be spelled Maxx? That seems like something a company like that would do.) Yet for some irrational reason, these heroes think that trusting their loved ones and validating their loved ones’ theories will somehow put everyone in greater danger. It makes no sense. It is patently false. It hampers the characters, the intended romance, and the overall plot. It needs to stop.

ARROW Did a Surprisingly Nuanced Date Rape Allegory

Because we are naturally distanced from the characters, fiction can be an incredibly powerful tool for drawing attention to issues in society. We can be more objective in our judgement than when we are examining our own lives. Writers can craft intricate stories that highlight many different sides of these issues by using multiple characters’ perspectives. Sci-Fi/Fantasy stories add an extra level of distance because they exist in worlds that are so different from our own. We can do things like explore interracial relationships between aliens when audiences might not be receptive to real-world interracial relationships.

Stories become a part of our shared culture and are thus able to influence how we view and interact with the world. So often, the critical media focuses on the ways in which our entertainment is damaging to society, with sex and violence usually topping that list. Certainly those elements have impact, but there are also so many positive ways that the media can influence us as a community. It is especially gratifying when a popular series tackles a difficult topic with respect, compassion, and nuance.

I’m talking about Thea Queen’s storyline on the third season of ARROW. I might be reaching, and I have no idea if this was the intention of the writers, but my first thought when her storyline kicked into gear was that this was a date rape allegory. I’m not a fan of the term “date rape” because it suggests this is somehow a different kind of rape than whatever “rape rape” is. I’m using it here because most people recognize the term and because it is often specific to a violation committed by someone known to the victim and/or committed with the assistance of some mind-altering substance.

In the show, Malcolm Merlyn gives Thea a drug made from the Votura plant, which makes her compliant but leaves her with no memory of what she did while under the plant’s influence. He then has Thea kill Sara Lance. With no memory of committing that murder, she might never have known of her role in Sara’s death had there not been a video of the incident that clearly shows her shooting Sara. She is understandably shaken upon learning what she did. Her trust in Malcolm is broken. She feels guilty for having trusted him in the first place. She blames herself.

And then something amazing happens.

Everyone tells Thea that this was not her fault. Laurel stands by her. Nyssa, Sara’s lover, doesn’t believe Thea is the true killer. No one feels that Thea is culpable. The blame is squarely placed on Malcolm, as it should be.

This isn’t a 1-to-1 metaphor, but there are obvious parallels to known-assailant and “roofie” rape. Thea was given a drug not dissimilar to the various kinds used to roofie victims. She was put into the situation by a person she had trusted. She was forced to do something that she was unable to consent to. And she had a very real reaction to learning what happened. What is different about her story from the reality many people face is that she was supported by the people around her. She was not told that she shouldn’t have worn that dress or that she should have kept a better eye on her drink or that she shouldn’t have spoken to that guy.

This is important.

While I might be the only person that saw this allegory in the story, I hope that below the surface, other viewers will internalize the idea that no one is to blame for the crime committed upon them. Victims of sexual violence and people in abusive relationships are not responsible for their assaults and abuse. The guilt, the blame, and the responsibility lie with the perpetrator. Thank you, ARROW, for reinforcing this truth.

The Pain of Watching a Show You Love Die

Few shows earn a long run. Fewer still remain consistently awesome throughout that run.

It’s difficult to say which is more painful for fans: a fantastic show cancelled early in its run or a once amazing series that devolved into something far less compelling. If the enduring cries of “BRING BACK FIREFLY” are any indication, it’s the former. When a show is canceled before it has the chance to outstay its welcome and fade into I don’t even know why I’m still watching territory, everything becomes a game of what could’ve been. Just as when a person dies young, we are left asking about what they could have accomplished, what joys they could have brought to the world, why them when TWO AND A HALF MEN is still on the air. (please do not blacklist me, Chuck Lorre) I’ve seen many a show that I love get axed. Interestingly, most of the recent ones have been ABC comedies: HAPPY ENDINGS, DON’T TRUST THE B, SUBURGATORY, and (most tragically) TROPHY WIFE. Just this past fall, I lost another one: SELFIE. Sometimes it feels like networks draw names out of a hat to figure out what stays and what goes, but that is never the case. The writing is always on the wall. Cancellations do not happen in a vacuum. I knew every single one of those shows would be canceled sooner rather than later. With SELFIE, I could tell from the pilot that it was not long for my TV screen, especially after they re-worked said pilot in a way that took all the bite out of it. I was actually shocked when the first three received second season orders. Knowing it’s coming doesn’t make it much easier to accept, but tempering expectations can make it hurt less when the inevitable article shows up on Deadline. And then there’s the funereal deletion from the DVR. That’s when it really hits you.



Wednesday, February 4th brings the premiere of FRESH OFF THE BOAT, yet another proudly quirky ABC sitcom. Sadly, I fully expect it to end after season one, if it’s even allowed to air all the episodes. #RIPSELFIE #RIPDONTTRUSTTHEB Like DTTB, FRESH OFF THE BOAT is another Nahnatchka Kahn series, so that’s already going to be tough to overcome. If Kyle Killen’s track record has taught us anything, having a talented writer behind a smart show doesn’t mean, well, anything. FOTB has the added pressure of fitting into ABC’s diversity initiative. Initially slated as part of the Wednesday Family Comedy Block ™, ABC gave an early vote of no confidence by simply premiering FOTB on Wednesdays, then immediately shifting it to the double-episode burnoff on Tuesdays. On Wednesday, the new series would undoubtedly have been expected to measure up to fellow newbie BLACK-ISH, the breakout comedy of the year. Premiering between two successful comedies in the Wednesday night block might boost FOTB’s ratings and sampling, but ABC appears to have decided the new show isn’t worth the continued disturbing of the delicate balance in their finally successful Wednesday night lineup.

What about CRISTELA, this season’s Latin-American entry? That show was shoved to Fridays from the start, where expectations are lower. CRISTELA has been doing OK in its timeslot, pairing well with fellow multi-cam family sitcom, LAST MAN STANDING but not making waves like network darling, BLACK-ISH. To ABC’s credit, pairing FOTB with a stridently traditional multi-cam show would be a disservice to the quirky single-cam series.

Now ABC has a problem. BLACK-ISH follows a similar formula as the other Wednesday Family Comedy Block ™ series. CRISTELA fits into the multi-cam mini-block on Fridays. Meanwhile, FOTB doesn’t quite have a place anywhere on ABC’s schedule, and somehow they’re only just realizing that. Sure, it’s a family comedy, but it also has Kahn’s stamp all over the (absolutely hilarious) pilot, and she’s not the type to let network notes dim her light on the rest of the episodes.

Instead, FRESH OFF THE BOAT has been shunted to Tuesday nights. I say shunted because Tuesday has become a veritable graveyard of failed sitcoms for ABC, and that’s not even accounting for their endless struggles in the 10pm slot. Apart from SUBURGATORY, all of the aforementioned gone-too-soon comedies finished their runs as Tuesday shows. The only recent success ABC has had on Tuesday, THE GOLDBERGS, was granted a promotion to Wednesdays. That was the right move on ABC’s part. It was the best way to support a fledgling series with oodles of potential and a formula that meshed with the rest of the Wednesday Family Comedy Block ™. It’s also the most important writing on the wall regarding FOTB’s impending Tuesday premiere. The new series has to succeed completely on its own, without any lead-in, without the assistance of other comedies on the same night, without, it seems, even ABC’s support.

So what happens if it can’t? What happens if, like all the other wonderfully weird (mostly Tuesday) comedies that came before it on ABC, FRESH OFF THE BOAT appeals to a small but ardent fanbase that simply doesn’t have the numbers to take on the juggernaut that is NCIS?

It gets canceled. That’s what happens. Maybe it’s better that way. Today, people have discovered FREAKS AND GEEKS thanks to DVD box sets or DON’T TRUST THE B thanks to Netflix. Fans flood comments sections with pleas to bring these and other series back. Because they didn’t run for years and years, these shows remain consistently awesome. They burned half as long but twice as bright, and sometimes it is better to burn brightest for just a little while than burn out when no one notices your light anymore. (‘sup GLEE)

Still, #BRINGBACKTROPHYWIFE

UPDATE: FRESH OF THE BOAT has been renewed for a second season! And it has been promoted to a fall premiere. I'm personally not sure about pairing it with THE MUPPETS, but (my own tastes aside) that does feel like a vote of confidence on ABC's part. The Muppets are a proven brand, and as the 8pm anchor, it is clear that ABC hopes the curious/nostalgic Muppets viewers will leave their TVs on and fall for the quirky 90s-set FRESH OFF THE BOAT.

On a sadder note, CRISTELA was canceled due to low ratings and a lack of buzz. It was a cute and fun show that unfortunately never popped. You should check out when you need a 22 minute break from your dark and twisty dramas.

The Power of the Pilot

First impressions are everything. Your mother reminds you of this unassailable fact before every job interview. (thanks, Mom, but that’s still not helpful) HGTV has hours devoted to improving the curb appeal of properties, whether the owners plan to sell or just want to get invited to the neighborhood block party next year. (I know I can’t keep my azaleas alive, but I promise my guacamole won’t kill you!)

So why, when it comes to television, am I so willing to give new series the ol’ three episode try?

I tell myself it’s because new series need a couple episodes to find their footing. Because the pilot is, by definition, jam-packed with so much information that it isn’t emblematic of what other episodes will be. Really, it’s because I’m an addict. I love stories, even so-so ones. Thanks to that addiction, I’ve unwittingly devoted literal weeks of my life to some frankly abysmal YA novels and frustratingly bland new series. (or worse, shows that were once captivating but have since become a chore to watch) All in the name of giving them a chance to improve. My friend can’t stop raving about this book. The critics are heaping praise on this new show. My friend’s fiancé worked on episode six, so I have keep watching it, right? Right?

No, actually, I don’t. And neither do you.

Tastes are subjective. A show may be groundbreaking, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be my cup of tea. (I’m looking at you, BLACK-ISH) Just because a book is getting made into a movie doesn’t mean it’s any good. (that list is too long, but we all know which one came to mind first *cough*shmilight*cough*) If I’m being honest with myself, it never takes three episodes to know that a new series isn’t for me.

All it takes is one: the pilot.

Yes, many series, even now-wonderful ones like PARKS AND RECREATION or AGENTS OF SHIELD, will need a few episodes to find their groove. Perhaps the release of a major motion picture to finally kickstart storylines. And yes, a thousand times yes, pilot episodes are always going to be different from the rest of the episodes because they are introducing new characters in a new world. It doesn’t matter. Bottom line: If you like the pilot, you’ll probably like the series. If you don’t like the pilot, there is very little chance you will like the series. Bad pilots almost never make for good series.

After checking out a handful of new shows over the last couple months, I’m finally accepting the power of the pilot instead of clinging to the myth of the three episode try.



I began with Bravo’s first foray into scripted television: GIRLFRIEND’S GUIDE TO DIVORCE. It centers on a gaggle of rich, skinny, famous-adjacent, middle-aged white ladies with terrible decision-making skills. Just like most of Bravo’s other programing. Except this time the wine in their glasses is fake and the stupidness they say is the fault of professional writers, not their own pathological need for attention. It was clear from the get go how I would feel about the show. I don’t care about these women. I don’t care about their lives. The one shining exception, and the reason I kept watching for five more episodes (what is wrong with me?), was Janeane Garofalo’s Lyla. The acerbic, driven lawyer was the only one whose problems felt grounded in any reality. After just one episode, the pilot, I knew who I would care about. That never changed. And now that Garofalo is leaving the show, I’m dropping it like a post-Cristina Yang GREY’S.



Next came TNT’s decidedly campy fantasy procedural: THE LIBRARIANS. It wasn’t a great pilot. It’s not a great show. Still, it was a great pilot *for* that show. Just like GGTD, I came out of the pilot knowing exactly what the show would be. I learned all the characters' names (okay, maybe I still call Christian Kane’s character Christian Kane instead of whatever his name is) and understood what the show was going to be. It’s campy. It’s silly. It’s not challenging. It didn’t take three episodes to figure that out. And I love it.



The new year kicked off with ABC’s musical-comedy-medieval-mess-thing: GALAVANT. I’d first watched the pilot way back in the summer. I’m all connected like that. I knew even then that while it was weird in all the right ways for me, I didn’t like the music. I made it through the third episode before I realized that I had fast-forwarded past all the songs. No matter how much I like Dan Fogelman, there is no earthly reason to watch a musical when I don’t enjoy the music. I didn’t need three episodes to decide whether I liked the music. I didn’t need to give it a chance out of some irrational hope that all stories are worth watching. Yet I did. Because I refused to trust the thoroughly accurate first impression proffered by the pilot.


Then there’s EMPIRE. Unlike GGTD, THE LIBRARIANS, and GALAVANT, it’s new enough that I haven’t had the chance to continue watching this show. But I will watch episode two tonight. Not because of a three episode try; because it’s good. Actually, it was fantastic. I couldn’t tell you what each episode’s structure will be beyond it likely leaning heavily serialized instead of episodic. Doesn’t matter. The world, the characters, the tone, the original music – it all works for me. A great pilot won’t always make for a great series, but unless something goes seriously off the rails, I have no doubt the show will (like all the others on this list) live up to the expectations set by its pilot.


And finally we arrive at MTV’s latest entry into the addictive teen drama genre: EYE CANDY. It’s internety. The first episode is called k3u. Took me a minute, but I think that’s supposed to be I *heart* you. Get it? I liked the pilot script when I read it last year. Again, whut up connections! The first episode that aired was different. Lindy wasn’t brought into the cyber crimes unit that the trailers suggest will be integral to the structure and events of future episodes. It was barely even mentioned. This makes it a bad pilot. I’m not saying the ep wasn’t enjoyable – it generally was fun, if you like that kind of YA show. I am saying that I have no idea what the series will actually be given that a group of characters and an entire realm of the show were not introduced. Now the question: Do I give it the three episode try with the hope that next week gives me a better sense of what the show will be? Or do I trust my instincts that if the writers don’t understand TV structure enough to use the first episode to introduce in the main world in which the protagonist will operate, they won’t be able to put together a satisfying season arc? My schedule is clear enough to give EYE CANDY one more episode to make its case, and I probably will, but that doesn’t mean I should. In fact, based on the overwhelming evidence of every other pilot I’ve ever watched (excepting AGENTS OF SHIELD, which really turned itself around), there is no reason to give EYE CANDY the benefit of the doubt. Also on the reasons-not-to-watch list is the profoundly not diverse set of love interests for Lindy’s character. I can’t tell them apart at all. **

Pilots are rough and the edges will smooth after a few episodes. A pilot is never going to be quite the same as the rest of the episodes. Yet, if the pilot has done its job, it will tell you everything you need to know about whether you want to watch that show. I used to proclaim the three episode try as the only way to watch new shows. No more! The pilot is all you really need. If it doesn’t grab you at all, I can almost guarantee the show never will. If it sports a major flaw that bothers you, the series likely will too. If you’re clinging to a single element with potential, don’t be surprised when it fails to become something more. There is a lengthy, costly, soul-killing development process that every pilot script goes through before it is made. And another lengthy, costly, soul-killing testing process that happens before it makes it to air, often with reshoots and recasts based on the testing results. All that time and money and sacrifice of sanity is done with one goal: make the pilot that we see into the best encapsulation of the series to come. So let’s all trust the pilots to do their jobs.

** Full disclosure: I’m bad at distinguishing white dudes. I call it the frat boy syndrome; you get the same haircuts, wear the same clothes, have the same conversational quirks, you become the same person to me. So when I’m introduced to four generically model-esque white guys with blondish-brown hair (RIP the only one whose name I actually learned), well, that does not bode well for me having any clue which one is doing suspicious things. I want the villain to be the BFF chick – she seems like exactly the kind of bored rich socialite that might decide to become a serial killer just for funsies. Also, I know which one she is, so that’ll help.